I just spent 10 minutes reading the blog of one of our co-missionaries in training. She wasn't anything more than herself, and was able to let others see a bit of the life we have here at the Missionary Training School. I think this has shamed me a bit. I have this trouble with thinking that I won't be able to keep up with blogging, so I have never gotten started. Well, this is the day.
We just finished a week of classes with Darwin Anderson, the Director of International Messengers. I have said in the past that I would like to shrink Darwin, and put him in my back pocket. Then when discouragement comes, I could pull him out to push me forward.
As Darwin talked, I found myself sitting in class wondering how I could have limited God so greatly. I had started the week feeling overwhelmed with the thought of raising support. After reworking some numbers with more current costs from Eastern Europe, I had been startled by the amount we needed. But then a different view of God started to emerge. This wasn't a God that called, and then didn't provide. This wasn't a God who promised my life, or missionary work would be easy. This wasn't a God that said "I have given you a spirit of discouragement."
I've been on my "knees" a few times this week. This box I put My Lord in just isn't big enough. Open up, He's coming out.
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